Est. 2025

DEADECTIVES

Putting the PI in RIP

Cases open4
Staff on file6

Case of the week

Sudden vampire disappearance

Have you seen any suspicious behavior? Heard weird noises where there shouldn't be any? Maybe a friend of yours hasn't checked in for a while. Is he just on a bender in REDACTED or is something more sinister at play? Has anyone you know gone missing?

More-so than the way vampires usually do it. More-so than a casual disappearance. Does the dark feel a certain je-ne-sais-quoi? Pardon my French, but we may be looking at the unusual disapperance of someone undead. Be wary, be vigilant.

☞ Read More

Tip Line

Do not drink bloodbags older than three days.
Wouldn't recommend gifting moonstones to lunar friends.
Andre is an idiot.
Do not suck and drive.
Be wary of the new vampires in Oklahoma.
There's a ghoul in Atlantic City.
Do not upset the rats in the attic.
Do not trust the microwave. It will eat your food.
Missing vampire "Leo" last seen in Philadelphia.
Free tip: don't answer the door if everyone you know is dead.

Reach the Office

Give us a call.

+4 123 456 7890

Straight from the source

New book unveils secrets of the supernatural

What do you do when your newly turned brother goes missing and you are a 600 year old vampire? Well, normally Ethel is boring, anyone who knows her would say. Which is not a lot of people. But sometimes you don't have a choice.

So you enlist the help of a werewolf, an immortal who is a sad excuse of a cursed pirate and a demented ghost. Things can't really go wrong from there, can they?

Our history

Competent and passionate about working cases

☞ Meet the staff

Services

Comprehensive paranormal investigation services

☞ See the rate card

Case Files

Work experience in paranormal investigations

☞ Read the files

Rate card

Our Services

Missing Persons

Someone you know has gone missing? We will (try) to find them.

50$

Paranormal Consultation

Need a ghost translator? Someone to look behind the veil? Look no further.

100$

Nocturnal Surveillance

We watch while you sleep. Or while you're awake.

150$

Bodily Displacement

Need some "clean-up" work done? We can help with that.

500$

Open investigations

Case Files

Case No. 001OpenReported by: Ethel

MISSING — LEO REDACTED

Last seen in Philadelphia, talking to a ghost.

Only turned into a vampire recently, might be confused or dangerous.

Hasn't been in contact with his maker Ethel in two weeks.

Didn't come to previously agreed upon meeting with friend "Cee".

State of apartment indicates a struggle, or someone lacking a cleaning schedule.

Futher investigations regarding the reason and circumstances of the disappearance are ongoing.

Case No. 002SealedClearance: need to know

RESEARCH FILE: REDACTED NAME

A strange array of items was found in the possession of the REDACTED. It contained broken jewelry and a faded manucscript.

Said items were logged and sealed per standard procedure. One item didn't want to be contained, and was entrusted in the hands of REDACTED.

Reveal Correspondence
Dear Reader, I'm seeking representation for DEADECTIVES, a New Adult urban fantasy complete at 95,000 words. It is the first book in a planned four-book series and has a complete arc of its own. The remaining books are outlined, with book two partly drafted. It will appeal to readers of fantasy series blending humor and found family, such as Rick Riordan’s Heroes of Olympus and Leigh Bardugo’s Six of Crows. Vampires go missing all the time, but Ethel Vauchier’s recently turned relative Leo isn’t supposed to be one of them. What’s a 600-year-old girl to do but embark on a bad-decision-fueled road trip, enlisting help from a werewolf who’d rather kill her, a cursed pirate who can’t die, and a ghost who keeps forgetting he’s dead? Ethel thinks the least interesting thing about her is that she’s a vampire. She’s read about a million books, has firsthand experience of many great moments in history and possesses a great sweater collection. That all loses importance when her a-hundred-times-great-grandson Leo goes missing, shortly after she turned him. The only lead to find him is the report of a witch, tracking him to an abandoned haunted hotel. Setting out to find him by any means necessary, she starts a journey unfamiliar to someone who doesn’t normally leave the house more than once a decade. She doesn’t expect those means to include a corrupt supernatural government claiming to keep the peace, an array of questionable allies and someone she might even consider a friend at the end of the journey. With Leo’s life in her hands, along with the balance of the supernatural world and her own neck, Ethel will have to do the one thing she’s avoided for centuries: trust someone. Thank you for your time and consideration. The full manuscript is available upon request.

Personnel

Meet the Staff

Ethel J. Vauchier

Principal Investigator
Classification
Vampire
Specialty
History, Archivation, Boring Sweaters
Note
Naturally blonde
Joined
08/2025

Rebel Nez

Field Operations
Classification
Werewolf
Specialty
Tracking, Fighting, Intimidation
Note
Cooks a mean chili
Joined
08/2025

Peter Alekna

Cold Cases & Spirit Liaison
Classification
Ghost
Specialty
Communicating with the dead
Note
Sometimes forgets who or where he is
Joined
08/2025

Andre Jurado

Archives & Undercover
Classification
Cursed (technically immortal)
Specialty
???
Note
Do not take anything he says seriously
Joined
08/2025

Shannon (The Intern)

Intern
Classification
Human (probably)
Specialty
Writing, Research, Daydreaming
Note
Allergic to apples
Joined
REDACTED

Snoopy

Office Cat
Classification
Cat (black)
Specialty
Knocking things off, running in circles
Note
Do not attempt to feed
Joined
07/2026

Inter-Office Memo

Want to ask about a case? Commission work with us? We would love to hear from you!

Just drop us a message with the details and we will get back to you between one and two thousand business days.

Legal Notice

Personal, non-commercial project promoting an unpublished novel. Contact: deadectives@gmail.com